


We Left Too Much Unsaid

by WednesdaysDaughter



Series: Come Towards the Stars [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Past Relationship(s), Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 10:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11598951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WednesdaysDaughter/pseuds/WednesdaysDaughter
Summary: “Kaidan said he forgives me for cheating on him.”Steve’s eyes grow wide over his cup and James nearly spits out his tea; more due to the fact it was hotter than he thought it would be.





	We Left Too Much Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> I think I yelled at my TV for a good 10 minutes during/after Kaidan & Shepard's meet up on the Citadel. I even restarted the mission to see if I could pick different dialogues, but nope - just made myself more mad.
> 
> I like Kaidan, I do, but god he was such an ass in ME2: Shepard deserved better. Part of me wishes I hadn't romanced him in ME1 because I knew I was gonna pursue Garrus later on. So yeah, this is me just dealing with how angry that whole conversation made me.
> 
> Also James & Steve are the best.

" _I understand why you cheated on me but I forgive you_."                                                               

 

James’ sharp hook to her side jolts Dana out of her head.

“Come on Lola at least pretend to pay attention,” James scolds before invading her space for another hit. Dana recovers quick enough to dodge and land a solid uppercut jostling James off his attack long enough for her to go in for the kill. Dana drops low and swipes his legs out from underneath and then pins him to the Cargo Bay floor.

The sound of their panting fills the room until Steve drops a tool and swears violently enough to make Dana break and laugh; sliding off James to lie beside him.

“Think you broke my shin Commander,” James teases turning his head to wink at Dana who rolls her eyes in time with her body before standing up.

“Bill me Vega.”

James laughs and lets her help him to his feet.

“Seriously though, I’m always looking for some good hand-to-hand, but your mind was a million miles away. If you weren’t a trained killer I would’ve pinned you easy.”

“Your last dodge was a little sloppy,” Steve chimes in then raises his hands in surrender when Dana shoots him a look.

“Out with it Lola, what’s driving you loco today?”

“Other than the Reapers slowly but surely taking over the Milky Way?” Dana snaps before closing her eyes and taking a breath. She’s not mad at Vega; well not this time anyway.

“It’s nothing,” she tries though the look James shoots her over his shoulder says he isn’t buying it and neither is Steve who is trying to look busy, but failing miserably. She catches a towel James throws her and once her sweat has stopped trying to blind her she folds.

“It’s just something Kaidan said earlier today while we were at the Citadel. Kinda threw me off I guess.”

James and Steve lock eyes and suddenly they’re standing in front of her arms crossed and jaws squared.

“Look Commander I know you two have a history, but if he’s not playing nice I could always give him the old Vega welcome.”

It takes Dana a second to register what’s being said and she’s laughing before she can stop herself. It may not be professional, but if feels good after a day of brooding – even though she’d never admit to it. The guys don’t bat a lash and let her get it out of her system and that’s when Dana realizes they’re serious.

“Okay for one thing, I can handle myself thank you. I don’t need to guard dogs – not when I have a Krogan. Secondly, I’m not entirely sure he’s in the wrong. I think I might be.”

Dana doesn’t handle doubt well; it contributed to the death of her team on Akuze. James must not like seeing the look on her face either because he scoffs and falls back on his heels until he’s leaning against his work station.

“This I gotta hear, spill Lola.”

Dana doesn’t want to. Her personal life is no one’s business, but to be fair her relationship with Garrus is probably the worst kept secret in Alliance history so she sighs and shoves her hands in her back pockets: Her go-to stance when she’s feeling cornered and can’t shot her way out.

“Kaidan and I were involved during the hunt for Saren. It got physical,” Dana refuses to break eye contact even though she can feel her cheek heating, “just before the Citadel was attacked. Afterwards he continued to serve on the Normandy until I died.”

“It’d only been a few months, but it had been nice.”

Dana tries to keep the steel in her voice, but remembering the past makes her eyes soft and round as if she’s watching a romance vid. James and Steve don’t say anything, but nod for her to continue.

“After Cerberus brought me back I found Kaidan on Horizon during a Collector attack. To say it was a tense reunion is an understatement. I had hoped that after two years he would’ve moved on, but I guess there’s something about seeing a ghost that takes you back.”

The humor falls flat and Dana can feel herself being to vibrate in place; getting restless from all the attention. She attempts to finish the story quickly, like pulling a piece of glass out of your leg after being kicked out of a window.

“Long story short Kaidan felt betrayed. He didn’t want to come with me: He didn’t trust me since I was with Cerberus. He walked away on Horizon and I didn’t see him again until the Reapers hit Earth.”

Her words ring, a helpless echo of a heartache healed, but still tender.

“Well mierda that sounds rough. I had wondered, but Kaidan’s a gentleman apparently and you… well when we met you and Scars were a thing so I kept my mouth shut.”

“Must’ve been hard for you,” Steve pats James’ shoulder in sympathy and Dana smirks at James’ indignant scoff.

“Has he been giving you hell for your Cerberus days?” he asks Dana and she grimaces.

“I wish. At least we got that mostly cleared up on Mars: No he said something about me and Garrus that well… makes me sound bad.”

“Playing the jealous ex card huh? Never would’ve pegged Alenko to be petty like that when the world’s on fire – literally.” James cracks his knuckles and Dana just stares blankly at him until he settles down.

“You’re worse than my old pit bull Ginger,” she ribs gently, but James puffs up in pride.

“I would’ve pegged you as a cat person Shepard.” Steve settles next to James on the table while Dana stretches her back.

“Who says I’m not?”

“You can only pick one or the other Lola; none of this ‘I like both’ stuff,” James begins and Dana puts a hand up to halt the current line of conversation, but she too is cut off.

“Commander, Admiral Hackett wishes to speak with you.”

“Aw EDI come on! The Commander was just about to tell us what Alenko did to piss her off!” James yells to the ceiling.

Dana’s halfway to the door before she tosses a quick, “rain check?” over her shoulder and the lift closes on her face locked in a deep frown.

“He probably just wants to catch her up on the war back home. Shouldn’t take too long,” Steve assures him and twenty minutes later when he’s dropping a team on a Cerberus base he tries not to let James’ glare get to him.

“You jinx.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - -

 

" _I understand why you cheated on me but I forgive you._ "

 

Dana tosses and turns in bed, doing her best to avoid the healing patch of skin on her neck where a grenade got lucky.

An hour passes and sleep is as elusive as ever so Dana quits pretending and heads down to make herself a cup of tea. She surprised to find the kitchen empty, normally there’s a straggler or two on nights like this. While the water boils Dana sifts through Liara’s extensive collection and when she turns around Steve and Vega are sitting at the table as if they’d been there the whole time.

“You did not specify if you wished to be alone,” EDI chimes in before Dana can ask and she ducks her head to smile.

“Thank you EDI, I could use the company actually.”

“Told you,” James beams and Steve shakes his head slowly.

“Can I get you boys anything?” Dana asks even though she had pulled two cups the second she realized they were there. They wait quietly while the tea brews and Dana slides into the seat across the table from James after handing Steve his cup.

“Thank you Commander,” they say in unison and she watches them take a sip at the same time too.

“Kaidan said he forgives me for cheating on him.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide over his cup and James nearly spits out the tea; more due to the fact it was hotter than he thought it would be.

“Hold up, so Alenko ditched you on Horizon, called you a traitor and shit and he what? Assumed you still had a romantic relationship? Está loco.”

“I never said it was over,” Dana begins, but Steve cuts her off.

“You died Commander and then instead of hearing you out Kaidan chose to leave you. Whether or not he reached out afterwards… you were in the middle of a war. I doubt anything you said would’ve changed his mind.”

“Yeah, but he was hurting,” Dana tries again although she doesn’t say it with as much conviction, remembering how she laid in bed after Horizon staring at his picture. She had been hurt too.

“Don’t make excuses for that pendejo,” James growls.

Dana sighs and slouches over the table, putting her cheek against the cold steel and staring at the silver cup cradled in her palms.

“It made me so mad when he said that, but I just let it go and didn’t say anything. The past’s the past and I have a lot of regrets, but Garrus isn’t one of them. He could never be.”

James isn’t sure what to say next and looks to Steve for inspiration, but he catches a flash of blue and grey in the corner of his eye and grins when Garrus strolls up behind them.

“There you are, couldn’t sleep?”

Dana turns her head and smiles softly at Garrus before shaking it slightly.

“Well we can’t have our Commander falling asleep at the Galaxy Map now can we?” Garrus pulls the empty cup from her hands and rinses it out in the sink; giving Dana enough time to slowly stretch and slide out of her chair.

“Thanks guys, I appreciate the sympathetic ears.”

She’s embarrassed and they can tell, but Steve smiles kindly and tips his cup in cheers while James waves her thanks away.

“Don’t mention it Commander: Figured you’ve earned it – listening to all our crap and everything.”

He pivots in his chair to address Garrus as he walks back to the table, “Get this woman back to bed Scars, there’s a war going on out there. We all need our rest.”

“A war? You don’t say,” Garrus inclines his head in thanks before wrapping an arm around Dana’s lower back and herding her towards the lift.

“I can walk Vakarian,” Dana grumbles and just before the lift closes James and Steve share identical looks of mortification when they catch his reply.

“I can fix that Commander.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

 

Three days later Kaidan approaches Dana in the lounge after another sleepless night finds her and apologizes.

“Look Shepard I’ve been replaying our lunch at the Citadel in my head and I messed up.”

Dread fills Dana’s gut and she mentally plans all the ways she can make Vega and Cortex pay painfully as Kaidan continues.

“It wasn’t fair to you – what I said about the whole cheating thing. I gave you no reason to hold out for me. I was an ass and you were dealing with so much and I made it worse. I know I’ve apologized before, but I don’t feel like it’ll be enough for how I treated you back then.”

He cups the back of his neck and won’t look her in the eyes so Dana stands; forcing him to look up.

“It was a bad situation Kaidan and I’ve put it behind me. You should too. We’re different people now, but I appreciate the apology. I didn’t realize how much your words hurt until recently. I should’ve come to you sooner.”

“We never were that good about talking,” Kaidan huffs and Dana has to snicker.

“Yeah our flirting back in the day was…”

“Awful.” Kaidan admits startling a guffaw from them both.

Eventually the laughter dies and it leaves a kinder atmosphere behind. No longer on edge and awkward Kaidan squares his shoulder and his words warm Dana.

“I mean it Shepard; I am sorry. I’ve seen the way you two interact both on and off the field and even though it’s still sore, I can admit he’s good for you. Garrus is a good man and I happy for you both.”

“Kaidan that means more to me than you can possibly know. We’re damn lucky to have you aboard; I’m glad you are my friend.”

His smile is less forced than it was before and he parts with a quick goodnight and Dana is alone once more. She settles once more into her abandoned chair and stares at the endless starry sky. It no longer gives her chills to see the infinite stretch of darkness and once more she is comforted by its vastness.

A thought occurs to Dana, “EDI, Vega and Cortez didn’t talk to Kaidan did they?”

There is a brief pause before she gets a reply, “No Shepard they did not.”

“Garrus didn’t either, did he?”

“No Shepard.”

The gentle hum of the Normandy helps ease Dana into sleep’s warm embrace, but it does not take her until she is ready.

“Thank you EDI.”

Minutes later the door quietly slides open and Garrus gently pulls her into his arms and carries her to the bed they now call theirs.

“You are welcome Shepard.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would've romanced the crap outta Vega if I could've (and if I hadn't already been owned mind/body/soul by Garrus) and Steve is the ultimate sweetheart. My conversations with them in the game were some of my favorites in the whole trilogy so expect a lot of them in the future. 
> 
> This felt good to write.


End file.
